1 00:00:04,403 --> 00:00:05,403 We got a runner. Go ! 2 00:00:05,504 --> 00:00:07,172 Freeze, sir ! 3 00:00:07,273 --> 00:00:08,239 Freeze ! 4 00:00:08,340 --> 00:00:10,174 Hey ! 5 00:00:11,910 --> 00:00:12,844 I said freeze ! 6 00:00:12,945 --> 00:00:14,012 ( clattering ) 7 00:00:14,113 --> 00:00:15,647 I said freeze, god damn it ! 8 00:00:15,748 --> 00:00:16,781 Freeze ! 9 00:00:16,883 --> 00:00:17,849 ( man screaming ) 10 00:00:17,950 --> 00:00:19,584 Yeah, that's your arm, buddy ! 11 00:00:19,685 --> 00:00:21,085 ( gunshot ) 12 00:00:21,186 --> 00:00:22,554 ( laughing ) ohh... 13 00:00:22,654 --> 00:00:24,889 Stick time ! A little stick time ! 14 00:00:24,990 --> 00:00:25,924 ( gunshots ) 15 00:00:26,025 --> 00:00:26,824 Whoo ! Whoo ! 16 00:00:26,926 --> 00:00:29,661 Whoo. 17 00:00:32,030 --> 00:00:33,498 Freeze ! Freeze ! 18 00:00:33,599 --> 00:00:35,500 We got a runner ! 19 00:00:36,669 --> 00:00:38,035 Whoo ! Come here ! 20 00:00:38,137 --> 00:00:39,871 ( tires screeching ) 21 00:00:41,107 --> 00:00:43,574 Oh... Ah ! 22 00:00:45,344 --> 00:00:47,144 Whoa ! 23 00:00:50,749 --> 00:00:52,783 ( growling ) 24 00:00:59,091 --> 00:01:01,926 ( sirens blaring ) 25 00:01:11,570 --> 00:01:13,571 ( siren wailing ) 26 00:01:19,512 --> 00:01:21,412 ( dangle ) ha ha, well, uh, good morning, gang. 27 00:01:21,514 --> 00:01:23,415 As you all know, we are taking part 28 00:01:23,516 --> 00:01:26,417 In the "badges across the water" program. 29 00:01:26,518 --> 00:01:28,620 Today we have our part of the exchange. 30 00:01:28,721 --> 00:01:31,689 Please welcome, all the way from jolly old England, 31 00:01:31,790 --> 00:01:35,192 Officer martin smiley. 32 00:01:35,293 --> 00:01:36,861 ( cheers and applause ) 33 00:01:36,962 --> 00:01:38,229 Oh, please. 34 00:01:38,330 --> 00:01:39,497 Please, go, go. 35 00:01:39,598 --> 00:01:43,201 Well, as your boss said here, I'm martin smiley. 36 00:01:43,302 --> 00:01:45,203 I'm from gloucester terrace, 37 00:01:45,304 --> 00:01:47,639 Precinct there, as you would call it. 38 00:01:47,740 --> 00:01:49,040 And, uh-- oh. 39 00:01:49,141 --> 00:01:51,176 As a bit of a welcoming gift, 40 00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:54,846 I've brought you, uh, connor the constable. 41 00:01:54,947 --> 00:01:59,251 And as a personal token of my own appreciation, 42 00:01:59,351 --> 00:02:03,053 I, uh, I brought you all a tin of biscuits. 43 00:02:03,155 --> 00:02:04,222 If you would. 44 00:02:04,323 --> 00:02:05,924 Oh ! 45 00:02:06,025 --> 00:02:07,926 Thank you very much. 46 00:02:08,027 --> 00:02:09,193 ( williams ) those are cookies. 47 00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:11,095 Yeah, we call these "cookies" here in reno. 48 00:02:11,196 --> 00:02:12,430 Oh, I'm sorry, yeah. 49 00:02:12,531 --> 00:02:19,404 Uh, take the lift to the flat and eat your chips. 50 00:02:19,505 --> 00:02:20,905 What kind of gun do you carry ? 51 00:02:21,007 --> 00:02:22,340 We don't carry guns. 52 00:02:22,441 --> 00:02:24,308 I think that would be one of the biggest differences 53 00:02:24,410 --> 00:02:27,712 Between the two police forces, as it were. 54 00:02:27,813 --> 00:02:29,781 And, uh... Yeah, we carry a whistle. 55 00:02:29,882 --> 00:02:30,882 ( dangle ) a whistle ? 56 00:02:30,983 --> 00:02:32,250 And that stops crime ? 57 00:02:32,351 --> 00:02:33,384 It does. 58 00:02:33,485 --> 00:02:35,353 Do you guys have crack whores in England ? 59 00:02:35,454 --> 00:02:37,188 We call them crack wenches. 60 00:02:37,289 --> 00:02:39,157 ( laughter ) 61 00:02:39,258 --> 00:02:41,059 ( williams ) crack wench ! 62 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:43,128 Oh, that is sweet. 63 00:02:43,229 --> 00:02:46,464 So, uh, inspector smiley will be spending the day 64 00:02:46,565 --> 00:02:48,466 With one of our deputies here. 65 00:02:48,567 --> 00:02:50,234 Oh, me, me ! 66 00:02:50,335 --> 00:02:51,602 Pick whoever you want, pick anybody. 67 00:02:51,703 --> 00:02:54,072 I'll go with this lovely young lady right here. 68 00:02:54,173 --> 00:02:55,640 That sounds fine. 69 00:02:55,741 --> 00:02:57,074 Okay, now, pick again. 70 00:02:57,175 --> 00:02:59,377 Anyone else, really. 71 00:02:59,478 --> 00:03:01,012 Uh... 72 00:03:01,113 --> 00:03:02,314 I don't know. 73 00:03:02,415 --> 00:03:04,249 How about the bloke 74 00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:06,051 With the caterpillar on the old chin there ? 75 00:03:06,151 --> 00:03:08,252 ( dangle ) jim garcia. 76 00:03:08,353 --> 00:03:09,888 Uh... 77 00:03:09,989 --> 00:03:12,390 Sure, absolutely, wonderful, sure. 78 00:03:12,491 --> 00:03:13,724 Thank you. 79 00:03:13,825 --> 00:03:15,293 So take him around and... 80 00:03:15,394 --> 00:03:16,394 Show you the ropes. 81 00:03:16,495 --> 00:03:18,196 Yeah. Not all the ropes, you know. 82 00:03:18,297 --> 00:03:19,764 Don't need to go to cracktown. 83 00:03:19,865 --> 00:03:21,499 We'll take it easy on you, fella. 84 00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:22,968 Thank you very much. 85 00:03:23,068 --> 00:03:24,336 Nice and easy. 86 00:03:24,437 --> 00:03:27,271 Cheerio ! 87 00:03:33,679 --> 00:03:34,679 Today we are cracking down 88 00:03:34,780 --> 00:03:36,280 On the massage parlors here in reno. 89 00:03:36,381 --> 00:03:38,750 We are sending in our very own travis junior undercover 90 00:03:38,851 --> 00:03:43,188 With these high-tech glasses, which have a very small camera. 91 00:03:43,289 --> 00:03:45,422 He will infiltrate the massage parlor, 92 00:03:45,524 --> 00:03:48,159 Try to get them to perform the sex act on him, 93 00:03:48,260 --> 00:03:52,796 And then we will swoop in and start making arrests. 94 00:03:55,067 --> 00:03:57,134 Okay, he's in, he's in. 95 00:03:57,236 --> 00:04:00,504 Hi... You want a massage ? 96 00:04:00,605 --> 00:04:02,607 You want, uh, long time, short time ? 97 00:04:02,708 --> 00:04:04,408 The full-- everything you've got. 98 00:04:04,509 --> 00:04:06,411 On the menu, off the menu... 99 00:04:06,512 --> 00:04:07,712 I give you everything. 100 00:04:07,813 --> 00:04:09,147 Come this way. 101 00:04:09,248 --> 00:04:10,448 Okay, what do we do here ? 102 00:04:10,549 --> 00:04:12,016 This is my first time in one of these places. 103 00:04:12,117 --> 00:04:14,352 Uh, first you have to take off your clothes. 104 00:04:14,453 --> 00:04:15,753 Okay. 105 00:04:15,854 --> 00:04:17,622 Oh, I like your belt buckle. 106 00:04:17,723 --> 00:04:20,525 Oh, yeah, that was, uh, that was my daddy's, thank you. 107 00:04:20,626 --> 00:04:21,793 Nice and shiny. ( laughs ) 108 00:04:21,894 --> 00:04:23,461 You have to take off glasses. 109 00:04:23,562 --> 00:04:24,929 Oh, I'm not supposed-- 110 00:04:25,030 --> 00:04:27,031 I take off for you. 111 00:04:27,132 --> 00:04:28,199 Is that the glasses ? 112 00:04:28,300 --> 00:04:29,367 Oh, oh, no ! 113 00:04:29,468 --> 00:04:30,968 I put your glasses down here. 114 00:04:31,070 --> 00:04:32,370 I'm very careful. 115 00:04:32,471 --> 00:04:34,372 Go right to the super deluxe. 116 00:04:34,473 --> 00:04:36,541 Now, I don't know if there's some kind of special code 117 00:04:36,642 --> 00:04:37,908 I'm supposed to say. 118 00:04:38,010 --> 00:04:39,977 Oh, no, no, no, you get whole package. 119 00:04:40,078 --> 00:04:40,945 That's all. 120 00:04:41,047 --> 00:04:41,946 Ow ! 121 00:04:42,047 --> 00:04:43,113 Aah ! Okay ! 122 00:04:43,215 --> 00:04:47,017 Oh, god ! What the-- shit ! Ow, ow ! 123 00:04:47,119 --> 00:04:48,552 Is it too hard ? 124 00:04:48,653 --> 00:04:50,421 Oh... Is it too hard ? 125 00:04:50,522 --> 00:04:51,856 That's great. 126 00:04:51,957 --> 00:04:52,957 Aah ! Thank you ! 127 00:04:53,058 --> 00:04:55,259 Feels so good. 128 00:04:55,361 --> 00:04:56,360 Ow ! Ow ! Oh, god ! 129 00:04:56,461 --> 00:04:57,795 Okay ! 130 00:04:57,896 --> 00:04:58,897 Now I get some lotion. 131 00:04:58,998 --> 00:04:59,930 Oh, good, thank you. 132 00:05:00,031 --> 00:05:01,366 Just put that right there. 133 00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:02,400 Ow ! Okay, okay. 134 00:05:02,501 --> 00:05:04,068 Okay, here we go, here we go. 135 00:05:04,169 --> 00:05:05,703 Aah ! Aah ! 136 00:05:05,804 --> 00:05:07,204 Aah ! 137 00:05:07,305 --> 00:05:09,373 Ow ! Okay, okay ! 138 00:05:09,474 --> 00:05:11,843 ( crying ) 139 00:05:11,944 --> 00:05:13,477 Whee ! It's so much fun ! 140 00:05:13,579 --> 00:05:14,845 Aah ! Aah ! 141 00:05:14,947 --> 00:05:16,881 Aah. Ow. 142 00:05:16,982 --> 00:05:18,616 Is good ? It's great. 143 00:05:18,717 --> 00:05:20,751 And now, happy ending. 144 00:05:20,852 --> 00:05:22,353 All better ? 145 00:05:22,454 --> 00:05:23,621 It's more relax ? 146 00:05:23,722 --> 00:05:25,056 Yeah, more relaxing, that's great. 147 00:05:25,157 --> 00:05:26,724 Aah ! 148 00:05:26,825 --> 00:05:29,194 That's better, right ? 149 00:05:29,294 --> 00:05:30,762 That's so much better. 150 00:05:30,863 --> 00:05:32,263 So I'm supposed to get on my side, or... 151 00:05:32,364 --> 00:05:34,432 No, you just go on the floor. 152 00:05:34,533 --> 00:05:36,033 That's good, okay. 153 00:05:36,135 --> 00:05:38,202 Is she dancing ? She's dancing on him. 154 00:05:38,304 --> 00:05:39,337 She's dancing on him. 155 00:05:39,438 --> 00:05:40,638 Waah ! 156 00:05:40,739 --> 00:05:41,906 Get off me, get off me, get off me ! 157 00:05:42,007 --> 00:05:43,575 Oh, damn ! 158 00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:45,076 You know, there's more. 159 00:05:45,177 --> 00:05:46,777 ( coughs ) no, I don't want anymore. 160 00:05:46,878 --> 00:05:48,546 I don't want anymore. I don't want anymore. 161 00:05:48,647 --> 00:05:50,247 Just one-- 162 00:05:50,348 --> 00:05:52,516 Ahh, no ! No, shit ! 163 00:05:52,618 --> 00:05:53,584 Just leave me alone ! 164 00:05:53,685 --> 00:05:56,154 ( both shouting ) 165 00:05:56,255 --> 00:05:58,323 Come on, let's get him. 166 00:05:58,424 --> 00:06:00,024 Travis ! 167 00:06:00,125 --> 00:06:02,260 Frank. Lisa. 168 00:06:02,361 --> 00:06:03,661 Yeah, I don't think the cops 169 00:06:03,762 --> 00:06:06,231 Will be coming again anytime soon. 170 00:06:11,337 --> 00:06:13,204 Inspector smiley... 171 00:06:13,305 --> 00:06:15,839 Makes us smiley. 172 00:06:15,940 --> 00:06:18,576 I think he's amazing. We love him. 173 00:06:18,677 --> 00:06:19,910 So cute. 174 00:06:20,012 --> 00:06:21,279 He's so cute. 175 00:06:21,379 --> 00:06:24,048 I'd never had an imaginary friend when I was a kid, 176 00:06:24,149 --> 00:06:28,719 But if I did, inspector smiley would be my imaginary friend. 177 00:06:28,820 --> 00:06:30,789 He's that cool. 178 00:06:30,889 --> 00:06:32,090 You like your job ? 179 00:06:32,191 --> 00:06:33,458 Oh, yeah, I love my job. 180 00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:34,892 You enjoy what you do, do you ? 181 00:06:34,993 --> 00:06:36,126 I love my job. 182 00:06:36,227 --> 00:06:38,163 I love carrying real guns with real bullets. 183 00:06:38,263 --> 00:06:39,864 Of course, you wouldn't know what that's about. 184 00:06:39,965 --> 00:06:41,965 You guys are carrying them slingshots around 185 00:06:42,067 --> 00:06:43,601 With little rubber pellets. 186 00:06:43,702 --> 00:06:45,170 That's right, isn't it ? 187 00:06:45,271 --> 00:06:46,871 I guess them criminals, if they want to, 188 00:06:46,972 --> 00:06:48,339 Could just pretty much take over. 189 00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:50,174 I feel sorry for you guys. 190 00:06:50,275 --> 00:06:52,076 Well, we keep them pretty much in line, you know. 191 00:06:52,177 --> 00:06:54,045 The, uh... 192 00:06:54,146 --> 00:06:56,848 Do you say-- 193 00:06:56,948 --> 00:06:58,483 ( british accent ) "excuse me. 194 00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:00,318 "uh, top of the morning to you, 195 00:07:00,418 --> 00:07:03,321 "but I do believe you are breaking the law, 196 00:07:03,422 --> 00:07:05,423 And that is making the queen mad" ? 197 00:07:05,524 --> 00:07:06,858 And then they just run scared. 198 00:07:06,959 --> 00:07:08,225 Yeah, something like that. 199 00:07:08,326 --> 00:07:10,762 Got us a little speeder. 200 00:07:10,863 --> 00:07:12,763 Constable, why don't you just sit tight right here ? 201 00:07:12,865 --> 00:07:15,033 We're gonna show you how we do things in reno, nevada. 202 00:07:15,133 --> 00:07:16,667 All right. 203 00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:18,503 You, uh, don't need any help ? 204 00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:19,737 No, I'll be good. 205 00:07:19,838 --> 00:07:21,272 You just sit back here and watch it happen. 206 00:07:21,373 --> 00:07:24,075 Well, uh, actually, I feel a bit naked. 207 00:07:24,176 --> 00:07:26,377 You've got the gun and the club. 208 00:07:26,478 --> 00:07:27,779 I'll tell you what. 209 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:29,580 Hold this flashlight and you shine it on him 210 00:07:29,681 --> 00:07:31,182 If he gets out of control, okay ? 211 00:07:31,283 --> 00:07:34,451 All right, will do ! Okay. 212 00:07:35,754 --> 00:07:38,155 How you doing today, sir ? 213 00:07:38,256 --> 00:07:39,556 Uh, is there a problem, sir ? 214 00:07:39,657 --> 00:07:41,258 Is there a problem ? 215 00:07:41,359 --> 00:07:43,627 Yeah, uh, where's the fire ? 216 00:07:43,729 --> 00:07:46,930 Was-- was I speeding ? 217 00:07:47,031 --> 00:07:49,099 You get out of that car right now. 218 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:50,501 Who the fuck is this guy ? 219 00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:52,003 Get the hell out of that car ! 220 00:07:52,104 --> 00:07:53,938 Get out of that car ! 221 00:07:54,039 --> 00:07:55,106 ( thumping ) 222 00:07:55,207 --> 00:07:56,241 Oh, god ! 223 00:07:56,341 --> 00:07:57,609 Get out of the car ! 224 00:07:57,710 --> 00:07:58,742 Aah ! 225 00:07:58,844 --> 00:08:00,745 Get out ! Get out ! 226 00:08:00,846 --> 00:08:06,050 You speeding bastard ! You bastard speeder ! 227 00:08:06,151 --> 00:08:09,020 Give us your wallet, let's go. 228 00:08:09,121 --> 00:08:09,920 ( coughing ) 229 00:08:10,021 --> 00:08:11,789 Give us your wallet. 230 00:08:11,890 --> 00:08:14,258 Okay, you have a good day now, right ? 231 00:08:14,359 --> 00:08:15,426 ( weakly ) thank you. 232 00:08:15,527 --> 00:08:17,061 Yeah, you're welcome. 233 00:08:17,162 --> 00:08:19,063 You're welcome ! 234 00:08:19,164 --> 00:08:20,598 Well done, that's a nice flashlight you got there. 235 00:08:20,699 --> 00:08:21,866 Yeah. 236 00:08:21,967 --> 00:08:23,835 I like the weight of it. 237 00:08:23,936 --> 00:08:25,370 Yeah, okay. 238 00:08:33,045 --> 00:08:34,145 You have the right to remain silent. 239 00:08:34,246 --> 00:08:35,446 If you give up the right to remain silent 240 00:08:35,547 --> 00:08:36,714 Anything you say can and will-- 241 00:08:36,815 --> 00:08:38,683 I recognize you, sir. I recognize you, officer. 242 00:08:38,784 --> 00:08:40,584 You're that guy from "reno 911 !"-- 243 00:08:40,685 --> 00:08:41,819 Both of y'all ! 244 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:42,887 No, he isn't. 245 00:08:42,988 --> 00:08:44,154 ( hums theme ) 246 00:08:44,256 --> 00:08:48,025 We have no say in what they put on that program 247 00:08:48,126 --> 00:08:49,060 That they shoot. 248 00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:50,661 We have no say in what these guys do, sir. 249 00:08:50,763 --> 00:08:52,630 You make me respect police officers. 250 00:08:52,731 --> 00:08:54,165 You remember that time 251 00:08:54,266 --> 00:08:56,834 When you was trying to stop that gay man with the pretty legs ? 252 00:08:56,935 --> 00:08:58,035 He was roller-skatin'. 253 00:08:58,137 --> 00:08:58,936 Terry. 254 00:08:59,037 --> 00:09:00,305 Yeah, that's terry. 255 00:09:00,405 --> 00:09:01,706 Remember that ? That was good. 256 00:09:01,807 --> 00:09:03,240 He was really on drugs. 257 00:09:03,342 --> 00:09:05,710 They cut out the part where he was really on drugs. 258 00:09:05,811 --> 00:09:07,445 They didn't use that. 259 00:09:07,546 --> 00:09:08,579 These guys... 260 00:09:08,680 --> 00:09:10,180 We don't get a vote at all on what they put on. 261 00:09:10,282 --> 00:09:12,617 You should let these officers put on whatever they want to, 262 00:09:12,718 --> 00:09:15,419 Like that time when he helped him move, 263 00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:17,321 This couple hiding down the street. 264 00:09:17,422 --> 00:09:19,123 They were like, "I thought you was gonna move further." 265 00:09:19,224 --> 00:09:20,525 "no, I'm just moving down the street." 266 00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:23,594 Then you were drinking them margaritas and rum drinks. 267 00:09:23,695 --> 00:09:25,029 Y'all remember that ? 268 00:09:25,130 --> 00:09:26,764 So you understand your rights as they've been read to you ? 269 00:09:26,865 --> 00:09:28,032 I understand my rights, officer, 270 00:09:28,133 --> 00:09:29,600 And it's a pleasure to be arrested by you. 271 00:09:29,701 --> 00:09:31,669 You understand that what they put on the show, 272 00:09:31,770 --> 00:09:33,371 We don't get to vote on, they just use-- 273 00:09:33,472 --> 00:09:35,440 I understand that you've been unjustly treated 274 00:09:35,540 --> 00:09:38,175 By the producers of "reno 911 !" 275 00:09:38,276 --> 00:09:40,945 The thing is that you can't jerk off in the elevators. 276 00:09:41,046 --> 00:09:42,547 You can't be jerking off in the elevators here anymore, okay ? 277 00:09:42,648 --> 00:09:43,848 That I don't understand so good. 278 00:09:43,949 --> 00:09:45,483 Well... That's why you're going to jail, okay ? 279 00:09:45,584 --> 00:09:47,652 All right, all right. 280 00:09:52,490 --> 00:09:55,192 Officer smiley is about the nicest fella 281 00:09:55,293 --> 00:09:58,128 I have ever seen or met. 282 00:09:58,229 --> 00:10:02,099 He's just... Cute and classy. 283 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:03,834 It's like, you know, 284 00:10:03,935 --> 00:10:07,471 If james bond was dressed up like a teddy bear. 285 00:10:07,572 --> 00:10:11,009 I realize I-- I, uh, you know... 286 00:10:11,109 --> 00:10:13,177 Overstepped my bounds in terms of-- 287 00:10:13,278 --> 00:10:15,312 You were leading the arrest 288 00:10:15,414 --> 00:10:17,648 Or the speeding ticket and all, 289 00:10:17,749 --> 00:10:20,350 And I just want you to know that from now on, 290 00:10:20,451 --> 00:10:22,252 Whatever you say goes. 291 00:10:22,354 --> 00:10:23,554 I'm on the straight and narrow. 292 00:10:23,656 --> 00:10:27,591 I've got a particular, you know... Fire, I guess, 293 00:10:27,692 --> 00:10:32,596 For the speed-- for the speed-- for the speeder. 294 00:10:32,698 --> 00:10:34,899 ( indistinct talking ) 295 00:10:34,999 --> 00:10:36,133 Thank you very much. 296 00:10:36,235 --> 00:10:37,935 Money. Oh. 297 00:10:38,036 --> 00:10:39,503 It's 18. 298 00:10:39,604 --> 00:10:40,771 Eighteen ? 299 00:10:40,872 --> 00:10:42,572 It's usually 15, but I threw in that extra. 300 00:10:42,674 --> 00:10:43,741 That was nice of you. 301 00:10:43,842 --> 00:10:45,209 Welcome to america. 302 00:10:45,310 --> 00:10:48,645 Oh, thank you, yeah, appreciate that. 303 00:10:53,418 --> 00:10:56,019 Oh, man. 304 00:10:56,121 --> 00:10:58,088 Oh, look at him. 305 00:10:58,189 --> 00:10:59,157 ( jones ) hello. 306 00:10:59,257 --> 00:11:00,892 Reno sheriff department. 307 00:11:00,992 --> 00:11:02,260 The who ? 308 00:11:02,361 --> 00:11:03,661 Reno sheriff's department. 309 00:11:03,762 --> 00:11:05,162 Oh, come on. 310 00:11:05,263 --> 00:11:07,531 You white folks just harass black folks. 311 00:11:07,632 --> 00:11:09,500 I'm not doing nothin' but standing out here 312 00:11:09,601 --> 00:11:10,767 Trying to make a living. 313 00:11:10,869 --> 00:11:12,803 Sir, we're black folk. 314 00:11:12,904 --> 00:11:13,971 Black ? We're black. 315 00:11:14,072 --> 00:11:15,105 Prove it, prove it. 316 00:11:15,207 --> 00:11:17,842 Let me hear you say "sweet potata." 317 00:11:17,942 --> 00:11:19,310 Sweet potato. 318 00:11:19,411 --> 00:11:21,411 ( laughing ) 319 00:11:21,512 --> 00:11:23,114 Sweet potato. 320 00:11:23,215 --> 00:11:26,050 You do sound a little white. 321 00:11:26,151 --> 00:11:28,118 Let me hear you say "brotha." 322 00:11:28,220 --> 00:11:29,720 Brotha. Go ahead ! 323 00:11:29,821 --> 00:11:31,121 ( laughs ) 324 00:11:31,222 --> 00:11:32,423 Right. 325 00:11:32,524 --> 00:11:33,624 What are you doing with this white partner ? 326 00:11:33,725 --> 00:11:34,558 Brother. 327 00:11:34,659 --> 00:11:35,826 No, he-- 328 00:11:35,927 --> 00:11:37,261 What you doing with this redneck ? 329 00:11:37,362 --> 00:11:38,562 We didn't come to give you any money, 330 00:11:38,663 --> 00:11:40,397 But we came to help you get your pants up 331 00:11:40,498 --> 00:11:41,766 'cause your pants are down. 332 00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:43,501 I put my pants on when I left home this morning. 333 00:11:43,602 --> 00:11:45,169 My pants is on. 334 00:11:45,270 --> 00:11:46,570 Yeah, but they down. 335 00:11:46,671 --> 00:11:48,205 No, they're down right now. 336 00:11:48,306 --> 00:11:49,740 That's what that breeze is I was feeling. 337 00:11:49,841 --> 00:11:52,543 You're exposing yourself, and that's against the law ! 338 00:11:52,644 --> 00:11:54,478 And there ain't a whole lot to expose, okay ? 339 00:11:54,579 --> 00:11:56,714 So keep them up, all right ? 340 00:11:56,815 --> 00:11:58,416 Call me small ! 341 00:11:58,517 --> 00:12:01,252 When I go pee, I got to sit down on the commode 342 00:12:01,353 --> 00:12:03,521 'cause the doctor told me don't lift nothin' heavy 343 00:12:03,622 --> 00:12:05,222 'cause my back went out. 344 00:12:05,323 --> 00:12:06,857 You gonna call me small. 345 00:12:06,958 --> 00:12:08,559 He put it on you with that one, jonesy. 346 00:12:08,660 --> 00:12:12,830 So y'all just go ahead and arrest some criminals. 347 00:12:12,931 --> 00:12:15,433 You didn't put no money in my cup, did you ? 348 00:12:15,534 --> 00:12:16,934 No, I didn't, sir. 349 00:12:17,035 --> 00:12:19,269 I'll give her a dollar to loan you, okay ? 350 00:12:19,370 --> 00:12:21,038 No, her a dollar. 351 00:12:21,140 --> 00:12:22,840 I ain't paying no money back. 352 00:12:22,941 --> 00:12:24,775 Learn how to say "sweet potata." 353 00:12:24,876 --> 00:12:25,943 Watch the poop ! 354 00:12:26,044 --> 00:12:29,881 Watch the poop ! Watch the poop ! 355 00:12:33,285 --> 00:12:34,418 Blind ? 356 00:12:34,519 --> 00:12:36,453 You know I'm black, right ? You know I'm black. 357 00:12:36,554 --> 00:12:38,556 Can I-- can I make my phone call ? 358 00:12:38,657 --> 00:12:40,791 Do I have rights ? Can I make my phone call ? 359 00:12:40,892 --> 00:12:41,792 Who are you gonna call ? 360 00:12:41,893 --> 00:12:42,793 Huh ? 361 00:12:42,895 --> 00:12:43,794 Who you gonna call ? 362 00:12:43,895 --> 00:12:44,962 Yo' mama. 363 00:12:45,063 --> 00:12:46,297 All right, get your ass in the car. 364 00:12:46,398 --> 00:12:47,531 Okay, but that was funny. 365 00:12:47,632 --> 00:12:48,499 No, that wasn't. 366 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:50,000 You know nothing about my mom. 367 00:12:50,101 --> 00:12:53,437 He didn't say your mother, he said yo' mama. 368 00:12:56,742 --> 00:12:58,942 Whenever I hear inspector smiley, 369 00:12:59,043 --> 00:13:00,978 I think of mary poppins. 370 00:13:01,079 --> 00:13:03,213 'cause why ? 371 00:13:03,314 --> 00:13:06,249 'cause of the way he talks. 372 00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:07,919 Oi !! 373 00:13:08,020 --> 00:13:09,987 Yeah, he needs to talk to you ! 374 00:13:10,088 --> 00:13:14,124 Get your fat arse over here so he can talk to you ! 375 00:13:15,427 --> 00:13:16,660 No, don't give me that ! 376 00:13:16,761 --> 00:13:20,297 Get out of your fuckin' wheelchair and get over here ! 377 00:13:20,399 --> 00:13:23,567 Uh, we just got these new bomb-dog cameras from carson. 378 00:13:23,668 --> 00:13:27,170 What they do is they get you a real good shot of the bomb 379 00:13:27,272 --> 00:13:29,874 From far away so you can make your tactical decisions 380 00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:31,308 Without getting up close. 381 00:13:31,409 --> 00:13:32,476 Good dog. 382 00:13:32,577 --> 00:13:34,145 How's it doing ? Testing. 383 00:13:34,246 --> 00:13:36,079 One, two, one, two. 384 00:13:36,180 --> 00:13:39,350 Go, go. Go try it out, boy. 385 00:13:52,230 --> 00:13:53,464 ( whimpers ) 386 00:13:53,565 --> 00:13:55,733 Oh, man. 387 00:13:56,768 --> 00:13:58,502 Here's our... Patient. 388 00:13:58,603 --> 00:14:00,171 Hello ! 389 00:14:00,272 --> 00:14:01,639 Yep, hi. 390 00:14:01,740 --> 00:14:03,441 Hi, there ! 391 00:14:03,542 --> 00:14:05,509 How are we feeling ? 392 00:14:05,610 --> 00:14:06,677 Hi. 393 00:14:06,778 --> 00:14:08,546 It's okay. It's okay. 394 00:14:08,647 --> 00:14:09,880 It's okay. 395 00:14:09,981 --> 00:14:10,848 Is this the right bed ? 396 00:14:10,949 --> 00:14:12,182 Yeah, mm-hmm. 397 00:14:12,283 --> 00:14:13,550 Hi. Hi. 398 00:14:13,651 --> 00:14:14,986 We brought a friend to say "hi." 399 00:14:15,086 --> 00:14:18,755 Hello, I'm a friend, here to say hi ! 400 00:14:18,856 --> 00:14:22,626 Gentle like a little, tiny, little bird. 401 00:14:22,727 --> 00:14:25,095 Gentle with the puppy. 402 00:14:25,196 --> 00:14:27,598 Yeah, just pet real nice, that's good. 403 00:14:27,699 --> 00:14:30,066 Isn't it nice to have a bird-- 404 00:14:30,168 --> 00:14:32,569 No ! No ! No ! No ! No ! 405 00:14:32,670 --> 00:14:36,707 No, no, no, we don't. 406 00:14:36,808 --> 00:14:39,110 We don't try to eat the dog. 407 00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:40,411 No, we don't. 408 00:14:40,512 --> 00:14:42,046 You can touch the doggy now, 409 00:14:42,147 --> 00:14:43,413 But you have to be nice. 410 00:14:43,514 --> 00:14:45,248 We're just gonna pet real gentle. 411 00:14:45,350 --> 00:14:46,417 Just like friends. 412 00:14:46,518 --> 00:14:48,386 We're gonna pet it just like a little bird 413 00:14:48,486 --> 00:14:50,520 Faberge egg or something that's-- 414 00:14:50,622 --> 00:14:51,789 No, no, no, no ! 415 00:14:51,890 --> 00:14:53,390 No ! No ! No ! No ! 416 00:14:53,491 --> 00:14:54,892 No ! 417 00:14:54,993 --> 00:14:56,293 I smacked him a little bit, I just smacked him. 418 00:14:56,394 --> 00:14:58,061 Dog's not food. Dog's not food. 419 00:14:58,162 --> 00:14:59,796 Dog's not food. Dog's not food. 420 00:14:59,897 --> 00:15:02,299 Okay, easy with the-- 421 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:03,500 Oh my god. 422 00:15:03,601 --> 00:15:05,535 What do I do ? I'm backing off real easy. 423 00:15:05,636 --> 00:15:07,071 I'm gonna-- I smacked him again. 424 00:15:07,171 --> 00:15:09,306 I smacked him a little bit. 425 00:15:09,407 --> 00:15:10,941 I'm gonna go throw up. 426 00:15:11,042 --> 00:15:12,310 Y'know, I really actually don't feel that bad 427 00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:13,644 About shooting him. 428 00:15:13,745 --> 00:15:15,045 No, I wouldn't. 429 00:15:15,146 --> 00:15:17,781 He came at me with a chocolate bar about 2 1/2 weeks ago. 430 00:15:17,883 --> 00:15:19,116 It was kind of dark. 431 00:15:19,217 --> 00:15:20,651 He deserved it. 432 00:15:20,752 --> 00:15:21,719 Every time we shoot a guy, 433 00:15:21,820 --> 00:15:23,554 You gotta come visit him and wish him well. 434 00:15:23,654 --> 00:15:25,022 It's a shame he's alive really 435 00:15:25,123 --> 00:15:26,490 'cause he wasn't that great a guy before. 436 00:15:26,591 --> 00:15:29,093 No, he was a bit of a son of a bitch. 437 00:15:32,798 --> 00:15:36,833 Smiley reminds me of a friend of mary poppins-- 438 00:15:36,934 --> 00:15:38,802 Not dick the chimney sweep, 439 00:15:38,903 --> 00:15:40,237 But some other friend of mary poppins 440 00:15:40,338 --> 00:15:44,108 That we never met who's a wonderful bobby, 441 00:15:44,209 --> 00:15:48,178 And he takes them to an ice-skating rink 442 00:15:48,279 --> 00:15:51,415 Under the-- the tube. 443 00:15:51,516 --> 00:15:53,717 That's funny because smiley reminds me 444 00:15:53,818 --> 00:15:57,154 Of someone from mary poppins-- 445 00:15:57,255 --> 00:16:00,324 Someone who, for instance, 446 00:16:00,425 --> 00:16:03,994 Comes riding in on some sort of jalopy, 447 00:16:04,095 --> 00:16:06,830 And he has whipped ices for everyone, and he says, 448 00:16:06,931 --> 00:16:08,932 "come on, everyone, I have whipped ices." 449 00:16:09,033 --> 00:16:10,734 And then when they get close enough to him, 450 00:16:10,835 --> 00:16:13,771 He grabs them and rapes the shit out of them. 451 00:16:13,872 --> 00:16:15,805 And then he tosses them in the backseat. 452 00:16:15,906 --> 00:16:18,642 And then off he goes, and then, 453 00:16:18,743 --> 00:16:21,712 "chip, chip, cheerio !" 454 00:16:28,119 --> 00:16:29,620 Right. That's it, right ? 455 00:16:29,721 --> 00:16:31,154 That checks out, that's the address, isn't it ? 456 00:16:31,256 --> 00:16:32,156 Yeah. 457 00:16:32,257 --> 00:16:34,024 Yeah, that's it. Call that in. 458 00:16:34,125 --> 00:16:38,129 Yeah, reno, this is 11 charlie fif-- 459 00:16:38,229 --> 00:16:40,697 No need for that. 460 00:16:40,799 --> 00:16:43,167 Uh, while we're at it, 461 00:16:43,268 --> 00:16:45,569 Why don't you give us your gun ? 462 00:16:45,670 --> 00:16:49,907 Oh, uh, well, these are sort of issue. 463 00:16:50,008 --> 00:16:52,576 I'll be all right. 464 00:16:52,677 --> 00:16:53,643 No worries. 465 00:16:53,745 --> 00:16:55,679 Be right back out. You watch the car. 466 00:16:55,780 --> 00:16:57,781 Okay. All right. 467 00:16:57,882 --> 00:17:00,550 I'll watch the car then. 468 00:17:01,452 --> 00:17:02,819 ( smiley ) all right, everybody, on the ground ! 469 00:17:02,921 --> 00:17:06,022 This is a robbery ! Don't want any heros ! 470 00:17:06,123 --> 00:17:07,424 ( gunfire ) 471 00:17:07,525 --> 00:17:09,493 ( woman screaming ) 472 00:17:09,594 --> 00:17:13,830 Oh, sweet lord ! Oh, sweet lord ! 473 00:17:13,931 --> 00:17:15,032 Oh my god ! 474 00:17:15,133 --> 00:17:17,267 ( panting ) 475 00:17:17,368 --> 00:17:18,736 What the heck ? 476 00:17:18,837 --> 00:17:20,170 Oh my god. Oh my god. 477 00:17:20,272 --> 00:17:22,807 All right... We were never here. 478 00:17:22,907 --> 00:17:24,941 We were never here. 479 00:17:25,043 --> 00:17:28,145 But just in case, let's get out stories straight. 480 00:17:28,246 --> 00:17:30,214 Some mexican drug cartel in there... 481 00:17:30,314 --> 00:17:33,150 ( gasping ) cocaine deal gone bad... 482 00:17:33,251 --> 00:17:35,553 I stopped it. 483 00:17:35,654 --> 00:17:36,653 They were thinking about starting 484 00:17:36,755 --> 00:17:39,723 A whole white slavery trade, 485 00:17:39,824 --> 00:17:45,529 And there's $100,000-- $100,000 cash in there. 486 00:17:45,630 --> 00:17:47,030 Oh ! 487 00:17:47,131 --> 00:17:49,433 It's all good now. 488 00:17:49,534 --> 00:17:51,368 I done my job. Yeah, you did. 489 00:17:51,469 --> 00:17:53,637 Hang on, marty. Come on, hang on, marty. 490 00:17:53,738 --> 00:17:55,472 Shit, shit, shit, shit. 491 00:17:55,573 --> 00:17:57,307 Shit ! 492 00:18:01,613 --> 00:18:04,048 ( wiegel ) hi, craig ! 493 00:18:04,149 --> 00:18:06,583 I can't hear you. 494 00:18:09,987 --> 00:18:13,824 I can't hear you on the phone. 495 00:18:16,361 --> 00:18:19,129 I can't-- can you hear me ? 496 00:18:20,898 --> 00:18:22,066 I can't hear him through the thing. 497 00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:23,600 Two words. 498 00:18:23,701 --> 00:18:27,738 First word. First word. 499 00:18:28,606 --> 00:18:29,773 Fishing. 500 00:18:29,875 --> 00:18:30,807 Fish... Fish. 501 00:18:30,908 --> 00:18:33,043 Trout, bass. 502 00:18:33,144 --> 00:18:35,446 Bass. Bass. 503 00:18:35,547 --> 00:18:36,980 Second word. 504 00:18:37,081 --> 00:18:38,448 Sounds like... 505 00:18:38,550 --> 00:18:41,552 Sounds like... 506 00:18:41,652 --> 00:18:45,255 Sounds like "peel," sounds like "tape." 507 00:18:45,356 --> 00:18:46,890 Sounds-- tape ! 508 00:18:46,991 --> 00:18:51,228 Tape... Taping... Tape. 509 00:18:51,329 --> 00:18:54,031 Throw. 510 00:18:54,132 --> 00:18:57,000 Bass... Taping. 511 00:18:57,101 --> 00:18:59,503 Bass-taping. 512 00:18:59,604 --> 00:19:01,972 Somebody's been bass-taping you ? 513 00:19:02,073 --> 00:19:05,109 Have you been bass-taped ? 514 00:19:05,210 --> 00:19:07,777 I don't know bass-taping. 515 00:19:11,082 --> 00:19:16,287 ♪ god save our noble queen ♪ 516 00:19:16,388 --> 00:19:21,992 ♪ god save our gracious queen ♪ 517 00:19:22,093 --> 00:19:28,198 ♪ god save the queen ♪ 518 00:19:28,299 --> 00:19:33,737 ( everyone mumbling lyrics ) 519 00:19:36,975 --> 00:19:39,676 ♪ ... The pilgrims' pride ♪ 520 00:19:39,777 --> 00:19:45,115 ♪ from every mountainside ♪ 521 00:19:45,216 --> 00:19:52,021 ♪ god save the queen ♪ 522 00:19:52,122 --> 00:19:53,357 ( scanner beeps ) 523 00:20:01,599 --> 00:20:04,401 "reno sheriff's department deputy james garcia 524 00:20:04,502 --> 00:20:10,307 Busts drug ring, recovers $97,000." 525 00:20:12,410 --> 00:20:13,443 Yeah. 526 00:20:14,979 --> 00:20:16,746 He was a good cop. 527 00:20:16,847 --> 00:20:19,683 I'm gonna miss him. 528 00:20:19,784 --> 00:20:23,220 I'm gonna miss you, marty. 529 00:20:23,321 --> 00:20:25,222 I'll buy you a drink. 530 00:20:25,323 --> 00:20:27,524 I'll buy you a scone. 531 00:20:27,625 --> 00:20:30,160 ( chuckles ) 532 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:44,875 ( happy panting ) 533 00:20:44,925 --> 00:20:49,475 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0